Monday, 19 November 2007

Glad

Today I am glad. Glad I am alive, glad I am healthy and those I love are too. And I mean healthy emotionally and well as physically.................
A few things have contributed to this introspection and reflection. Even had a sleepless night last night churning life over. Some of my cyber friends have been talking about their pasts and events that have damaged them. I have cried reading them and felt utterly helpless, unable to offer any salve for their pain other than some words of sympathy. Self Employed Mother, who is retracing her past to unlock deep-rooted pain, Menopausal Old Bag, who broke my heart telling of the miscarriage of an unknown pregnancy and the devastatingly insensitive reaction of the GP who attended her. Then finally Suzy, over at Midlife Crisis who with a few simple, searing words laid bare the awful effect the lack of her mother's love and warmth has had on her.
Then last night I made the mistake of watching a documentary on tv about a Bulgarian home for handicapped children. I knew it would upset me and despite this I watched it all the way through, ending up sobbing at the neglect and disinterest that these poor children endured day after wretched day. Everyone was in bed, husband fast asleep beside me and the house was silent except for my sobs.
I have no answers to the world's ills, all I know is that for every child I read about who is mistreated, I kiss mine an extra time and hug them a little bit tighter and hold them just a few seconds longer.
I have no strong religious convictions and I struggle to rationalise it all, so have taken my existance to its simplest form and I am GLAD, GLAD, GLAD.
I hope this doesn't sound too Pollyanna-like but today I am just grateful I have a family who love me, a cosy home, healthy happy children and enough money to feed them. What the fuck else matters?

10 comments:

Tina said...

Nothing else matters MMOF, hold your family close, and keep them as safe as you can. Must be Christmas making us so introspective I think, I've another post for you to read if you can bear the misery!

Not Pollyanna like at all, it does none of us any harm to be thankful for what we have. Lovely post.

T
xxx

Suzy said...

The only thing that matter is the present, with your family. It is women like yourself, that I admire.
who show their love every day and every way to their children. You certainly are my hero.

For myself, I am very fortunate to be able to actually figure some things out- even at the age of almost 60.

I have an incredible psychiatrist that deals with the trauma of what has happened to me and writers, like yourself who read and show their support.

I am in the midst of a 2nd rewrite of my book, so posting may take a little longer than usual.

My hope is that If one abused child/person reads my story and can walk away knowing that healing can happen even at such a late time, then it was well worth writing about the pain.

I have learned about memoir writing from Jennifer Lauck, www.jenniferlauck.com, the author of the best seller, Blackbird, A Childhood Lost and Found.

Without her inspiration, and that of my psychiatrist,
Dr. Hadar Lubin, Director and Founder of the Post Traumatic Stress Center in New Haven CT, I never could have some this far. I am blessed beyond belief.

Thank so much for caring.

Suzy
Identity Crisis
suzypafka@snet.net

Manic Mother Of Five said...

Hey Tina, will read it so long as you promise not to make me cry too much. Husband noted recently I had panda eyes despite the Lancome waterproof mascara - not a good look!

Hey Suzy! Now that is an impressive reason for NOT posting. Hope all is going well with the re-write. Thank you so much for those lovely words and I am so glad you have people to help and support you. Come back soon.

xx

Self employed mum said...

Hey MMOF just catching up. I'm GLAD you're GLAD and so you should be blessed with 4 handsome boys and a beautiful daughter. I read other peoples post and cry for their sorrow and their joy. Our children and families are loved. I don't consider my life to have been terrible there are people in the world who are worse off than me but this is just a journey I have to take. Thanks for caring and look after you and yours. Nicola x

gingerwitch said...

Now I'm welling up, thanks X

Manic Mother Of Five said...

Hey Ginger. Don't cry honey! Blame it on the hormones!

Swearing Mother said...

Reasons to be cheerful, I like them. What better way to brighten up a grey November day.

Loved your post.

Mid-lifer said...

Hi manic mother. It's always worth having moments like this. A bit of perspective never hurt no-one!

Thanks for popping over to my blog.

Maddy said...

Miscarriage - I've experienced different reactions from different 'experts' but on the whole it's not something I've shared with friends unless I know that they have had similar experiences.
Best wishes

Manic Mother Of Five said...

Hey S.M. Lovely as ever to hear from you x

Mid-Lifer. Right back at you. Will be over again soon.

Hey Maddy, welcome. I am really philosophical about my own experiences - I always had a child at home to go and cuddle after mine. Pure hell when its your one and only chance. Hope to talk again.