BECKHAM

Well I am sitting here at work absolutely fuming. Just heard on the radio that David Beckham, that god-like master of the football pitch has been excluded from the squad to play the upcoming FRIENDLY international, thus denying him his 100th cap.

To say I am rather disgusted with that arrogant twat of a manager the FA have brought in would be a fair understatement.

It's not like England have any major championships to worry about in the near future, so would it have killed that man (can't even bring myself to type his name) to let the beautiful Beckham play for a half and secure his 100th cap.

Husband tells me I don't understand, well sod off husband and bring back Beckham!

Yours a very pissed off MMOF!

Photographic Evidence

And here's the proof that indeed I did win the award.

Not the most flattering of pictures but at least it marks the occasion......

BUGGER ME I WON AN AWARD

Hi there everybody. What a momentous weekend!

The company I work for is part of a large national group and they had a presentation evening to celebrate their golden anniversary - 50 years of being in business. To mark the occasion they decided to hold a dinner dance/presentation evening in Kent, where our head office is.

We had discussed going as a team several months ago and at the time I was looking forward to it. As the weekend drew nearer and the reality of being separated from my tribe became all the more imminent, my anticipation turned to dread. I had never been apart from the daughter for a night and I wasn't keen to change that fact.

Oh well, I was commited to go so duly packed and said my goodbyes. The journey was pretty awful - roadworks held us up just half an hour down the road and heavy rain accompanied us for most of the journey. Well eventually we arrived to a rather nice 4 star hotel, which perked me up. A couple of drinks and a snack and I was feeling better so we trotted off to get ready as the function was due to start at 5 - yes 5. Bloody silly time if you ask me but there you go. Obviously it was a fairly extravagent event so out came the full length black silk number and as "something golden" was the order of the day I bought myself some seriously lush gold shoes in the sales and finished the ensemble off with a gold clutch bag.

The first hour consisted of a fair amount of waffle and company self aggrandisement...... And then the awards started. Well such was my bad humour at being separated from the five who made me manic that I had forgotten all about these......

My MD and I had put several nominations in and were gratified to win one award and be highly commended in two. Then came the award for Best Temp Consultant, 2 names were read out and then mine................ and the winner is ME! Well I was surprised and delighted in equal measure. We have 80 plus branches and a turnover in excess of £60 million to give you have some idea of the standard of consultants I was being compared to. Big smiles and photos with the group chairman followed.

Then we ate - crap meal, terribly slow service. The disco was the generic one who did your auntie's wedding. He even played YMCA. Dead on 12 the music stopped and my room mate and I were pleased to trot off to bed. It had been a long drawn out affair, even if my award is pretty!

Next morning we had a lovely breakfast and were on the road by 9.30. Our driver was still feeling somewhat delicate shall we say so I got to drive us home. Door to door in 3 hours - that'll do me.

Daughter was in bed and the boys just about managed to acknowledge my arrival - nice to know I was missed!

Me and Johnny Depp

Had the ultimate indulgence last night - a bath with Johnny Depp. Now before Vanessa gets all green eyed monster on me, perhaps I'd better explain in more detail.

Felt like a soak in the bath last night, which is unusual in itself as I am generally a power shower girl..... Got some posh smellies for Christmas to put some of those in and then realised I didn't have anything to read....

Now I recently borrowed my mum's portable DVD so I decided to watch a film. Extension cables were located and I carefully got everything sorted so as to avoid electrocuting myself (mind you what a way to go - I can see the headlines now - "woman electrocuted in the bath with Johnny Depp") I digress.....

Decided to watch one of my favourites -Benny and Joon, a real romance with a twist. Well I settled down, had a lovely soak and got to watch Johnny completely undisturbed.

Now that's my idea of heaven!

Who Do You Think You Are????

Inspired by Mother’s Pride, I thought I would write a post about my tribe:

Number One Son

Aged 17, at college part time, works for his mum when not at college. My rock. He has been through some awful times with me and consequently we are very, very close. Currently learning to drive, although a fractured hand has curtailed this particular frighteningly expensive pastime for the last month. Practical, dependable, handsome, strong as an ox with a fabulous work ethic. Will make someone a lovely husband.

Number Two Son

Age 13, at high school. Got employment the week he turned 13 and always doing deals - a budding entrepreneur methinks. Blonde, beautiful, bright and sporty, he really got more than his fair share of talents. Closest of my boys to his sister and I could cry watching him with her – they share a rare connection that I believe will last forever – or at least till she becomes a teenager! Tall and skinny, I spend my life trying to find him school trousers that will stay up!

Number Three Son

Age 10, at junior school. My special needs boy – dyspraxic, with moderate learning disabilities. Finds this world of ours hard going at times. He is kind and caring yet has his father’s explosive temper. Has the longest, blackest eyelashes I have ever seen. Not that I am jealous of course! An expert on the world of fantasy, be it Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Doctor Who. It worries me that he finds these worlds nicer places to be. Always nestling in for a cuddle. Lovely!

Number Four Son

Aged 9, at junior school with number three. The joker of the bunch, with an irrepressible, sunny nature. Loves laughing, football and his dad in equal measure. Solid as a rock. Potentially drop dead gorgeous, though I feel he may have to watch his weight. Has inherited his dad’s humour and my confidence in abundance - a potent mix. Popular, lazy, will only achieve when it’s on his terms and he decides he wants to, yet his teacher loves him!

The Daughter

Aged 2½. Where to start….. I waited far too long for this pink one of mine and have to be very firm with myself to ensure I don’t ruin her totally. This one is a total minx. Adored by her brothers, she is utterly used to getting her own way – I am currently teaching them all to say NO to her – it’s not easy!! She is a cheery little soul and loves her dolls and books. Put any music on and she will dance without prompting. So long as she doesn’t find a pole, we’ll be ok. Petite, has my fine, kinky infuriating hair poor love… The apple of my eye, what more can I say……

The Husband

Five years younger than me, drop dead gorgeous – 6’2”, the blackest hair I have ever seen (ok with a few greys these days that he holds me entirely responsible for), blue eyes. Conscientious, organised, outspoken and excruciatingly blunt at times. Sporty, funny, good company. Devoted to his kids and me (well most of the time). Bright but unambitious. Ying to my yang in so many ways but watch out when we clash!

Then there’s me – I will leave it to you all to make up your own minds there………..

Hell's Fire

Hi all

I'm back after the festive period. Didn't post much - only had the statutory holidays off, so was running around like the proverbial blue-arsed insect......... We got a Wii from Father Christmas so consequently all my tribe and yes, the husband are nursing various Wii inflicted injuries. I understand that Wii shoulder is actually a recognised medical condition these days!

My mum has deserted me for warmer climes (New Zealand) until March and besides leaving me with the emergency contact list, emergency funds (yes, despite being 42, my mother still insists on leaving me a "just in case fund" when we are apart) and instructions on looking after her house, I was also handed her pre-paid tokens for the Daily Telegraph. Now we don't take a national paper in our house, both working and living in the same town, we prefer to have our local paper - how insular does that sound!

So today husband enjoyed perusing their excellent sports coverage, I tackled both the short and cryptic crosswords (I'll tell you how I got on tomorrow!!!) and also glanced through the actual news.

One story on the front page really got me thinking. The headline reads "Cremations to keep mourners warm" and the basics of the story are plans by crematorium near Manchester to use the heat from the cremations to generate power for the boiler. Now my first reaction was bloody hell that's dodgy....... And then I thought I rather liked the idea. I may have my rose tinted spectacles on but I thought that at my cremation (and I DEFINITELY want to be burned) my send off would provide the warmth for my grieving (well I bloody hope so!) loved ones.

Perhaps I have over simplied matters but that was the conclusion I came to.......